Time to Pop the Hood

—Photos by Caschwa, Sacramento, CA

GOOGLE, WE HAVE A PROBLEM!
—Joseph Nolan, Stockton, CA
 
The horrible contamination by inevitability.
The implicit condemnation of an expiration date.
Approaching the end of your warranty period,
Or, worse yet, you just passed it.

A “Service engine soon” light shows on your dash.
Your engine is running rough;
Maybe it’s had enough of you and/or the way you drive?
Is it personal,
Or not?
One wonders, sometimes......

It starts smoking.
Hate smoking!
It’s time to pull over and pop the hood.
Time to check, but where?

Google, we have a problem!

____________________

THE HUMAN RACE IS LOST IN SPACE
—Joseph Nolan
 
The human race
Is lost in space.
Turn left at the pyramids!
Watch out for the Roman Legions—
They slaughtered half of Gaul!
Uh-oh! Genocide up ahead!
Oh, but history is oh-so awful!

What’s that?
You want to go to the moon?
You can’t handle the moon!

Let’s be honest:
We haven’t a clue as to how
The pyramids were really built,
When, or by whom.
If we could build one now,
Trump would build one
In the middle of Central Park
And put his name on it
In BIG GOLD LETTERS.

The human race
Has not a trace
Of pyramid-
Building technology.
Maybe that’s a good thing?

SKY TIME
—Joseph Nolan

Spirit in a body
In a corner
Of a sky
Of a world that’s
Always spinning,
While no-one
Knows quite why.

Winter’s birds
Are flying
To summer’s
Warmer clime;
When it gets
Too cold,
It’s time!

_____________________

THE BEAUTY OF FRUIT TREES
—Joseph Nolan

Oh, my God!
It’s so beautiful,
The way trees
Grow into sky!

How fruit-trees
Are so bountiful,
For our poor,
Who rely!

JACK THE JUNK MAN
—Joseph Nolan

Got any junk you need removed?
Just call Jack
Jack the Junk Man
Jack can haul it all away
Or his name’s not Jack.
Only thing is,
Once it’s hauled away,
You can’t get it back,
No matter how hard you try.
Sort of like ex’s.
No need to cry.
Just say “Bye-bye!”
And call Jack!

ONE GOOD PAIR
—Caschwa

“Fireball Fergy” was our fourth-
grade teacher, known for her
matching, garish, pointed-toe
shoes and horned-rim glasses,
a different color each new day.

In the mall, shoppers wear and
vendors sell shoes for every
occasion: work, sports, casual,
fancy, marketed to meet the needs
of mainstream people who visit
shopping malls.

All of that is very fine footwear,
no doubt, until one views images
from the natural, forested, Earth
and espies a family of deer,

completely at peace
striding barefoot among the
haiku wishing trees

___________________

RUNNING BACK
—Caschwa

What a l-USC-ious temptation it was
for the star running back to come
running back to the scene of the crime
where the opposing side had so sadly
cheated and fumbled the ball, to once
again pick up the pigskin and run with it.

Gone now is an entire career of cheer
leaders, roaring accolades, rave reviews,
product endorsements, and good karma

Instead there remains little shred of doubt
that this fellow has somehow managed
to get away with the murder of two people
he knew all too well.

BETTER KNOWN AS
—Caschwa

The Great Barrier Reef: light my fire

The Great Derriere Beef: rump roast

World Peace: time to reload

Whirled Piece: pirouette

Eternal Salvation: tanning cream

Eternal Salivation: doggie heaven

Thoughts and Prayers: no check enclosed

Shots and Players: performance enhancing drugs

Past Due: hurry to beat the penalty

Has to Do: rules, rules, rules!

__________________

PHREE PHOR ALL
—Caschwa

Steven, an orvan phrom
phreindly viladelvia
phound money, phame,
and lophe ephery liphing
day.

A graduate oph Uniphersity
of Caliphornia, Phresno,
Steve is a liphelong member
oph the ephal phillain
phraternity Phee, Phi, Pho,
Phum. 

EXPONENTIAL
—Caschwa

1 might only be able
2 comprehend the intent of our
4 fathers in terms of “the dog
8 my homework” before
16 agers with an IQ
32 many pretended to be
64 sneaking into adult movies.

___________________

Today’s LittleNip:
 
KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE
—Caschwa

Thank you for the warm welcome!
Let me just start by saying this:

I know you are very tired and
your patience has worn thin

so I’ll make this very brief,

“The End”

____________________

Many thanks to our contributors today as we begin the last week of June, finishing up the first half of 2019! (Shazam! Where did those six months go???) About his poem, “One Good Pair”, Carl Schwartz writes that he “Very much enjoyed [last Thursday’s] Wakamatsu presentations by Taylor Graham and Katy Brown, and here is my response.”

Poetry events in our area begin tonight at 6pm with Poetry in Motion in Placerville at the Sr. Center on Spring Street, then continue tonight at Sac. Poetry Center with Lee Herrick, Clea Roberts and open mic, 7:30pm. SPC workshops this week include Tuesday Night Workshop for critiquing of poems at the Hart Center (27th and J Sts.) on Tuesday, 7:30-9pm (call Danyen Powell at 530-681-0026 for info); and MarieWriters Generative Writing Workshop for writing poems, 6-8pm on Wednesday in the Women’s Wisdom art room at SPC, facilitated this week by Bob Stanley.

On Wednesday, SPC and Time Tested Books present Robert Clawson, Kane Clawson, and Betsyann Duval at Time Tested Books, 1114 21st St., Sacramento, 7pm. Then on Friday, Speak Up: The Art of Storytelling presents a performance evening on the theme of “Lost and Found” at The Avid Reader, 1945 Broadway, Sac., 7pm.

Saturday will be the second installment of the new spoken word venue, Creative Minds, held at the Gos Art Gallery at 1825 Del Paso Blvd. and hosted by Gary “Gos” Simpson and Straight Out Scribes, 2pm. Scroll down to the blue column (under the green column at the right) for info about these and other upcoming poetry events in our area—and note that more may be added at the last minute.

—Medusa, celebrating poetry!

 —Anonymous TomFoolery

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