—Anonymous Photo of an Anonymous Dog
—Poems by Richard Hansen, Sacramento
BEST DOG AND RUNNER-UP IN THE WORLD
If a man
Renowned
for his canine pet kept
but his dog isn't with him and
he
were to say to me
he
has a dog that
can be
described as
"Really Good but Not Only That"
the
"Not Only That"
could mean
just about anything
perhaps Runner-up in
The Best Dog in the World category
it's a clever yet disguised
generalized implied
dangling superlative
addressed to the uninitiated
having only experience with
dogs that are dogs that are
not his dog which
is a dog beyond
accurate explicit description since
the applicable adjectives don't exist
in any dictionary
so
the biggest benefit to
anyone seeking a
sublime canine vicarious experience is
kicking in imagination
reaching for
things that aren't there
until you find them where
you hadn't looked before
in your mind with your eyes closed
relaxed laid-back searching and then
The image of grace and strength
of
The Best Dog in the World Runner-up
Arrives to your surprise
high above ya
prancing and wagging tail and barking joyfully
superlatively dangling far and freely
high above ya
Grab it!! Grab it!!
to attempt to conceive of
a dog that is
like no other dog occurring on
earth in
the
current modern era
including
for the last several centuries
except for
my dog
Jimbo
who is
The Best Dog in the World
If a man
Renowned
for his canine pet kept
but his dog isn't with him and
he
were to say to me
he
has a dog that
can be
described as
"Really Good but Not Only That"
the
"Not Only That"
could mean
just about anything
perhaps Runner-up in
The Best Dog in the World category
it's a clever yet disguised
generalized implied
dangling superlative
addressed to the uninitiated
having only experience with
dogs that are dogs that are
not his dog which
is a dog beyond
accurate explicit description since
the applicable adjectives don't exist
in any dictionary
so
the biggest benefit to
anyone seeking a
sublime canine vicarious experience is
kicking in imagination
reaching for
things that aren't there
until you find them where
you hadn't looked before
in your mind with your eyes closed
relaxed laid-back searching and then
The image of grace and strength
of
The Best Dog in the World Runner-up
Arrives to your surprise
high above ya
prancing and wagging tail and barking joyfully
superlatively dangling far and freely
high above ya
Grab it!! Grab it!!
to attempt to conceive of
a dog that is
like no other dog occurring on
earth in
the
current modern era
including
for the last several centuries
except for
my dog
Jimbo
who is
The Best Dog in the World
—Anonymous Photo
THERE WAS A TIME
"Pale"
yep
Pale's the name
drives a truck
been in the sun when
he stopped to pee
no one could see
because the door was open
on the side of the road
some beer cans fell
down on the ground
he woulda picked 'em up
if
Julia wasn't gone
but
she was
Damn!
needed gas
stopped
at the last gas station
paid in cash
nickels dimes
a couple of quarters
and
lots and lots of pennies
took a bit of time
to count 'em out
then parked his truck
in his spot
parked his butt
on the couch
just in time for
the last
11 minutes
of
America's Got Talent
there was a time
he could drive
a
5-penny nail
into knotty pine
swinging a 22-ounce
waffle-head roofing tack
Made in USA steel hammer
wooden handle
slamming
down about
five
whacks
not counting
the times
he missed
"Pale"
Johnny Lunch Pale
—Anonymous Artwork
EGRET PUBLIC SCHOOL
CLASSROOM MANAGEMENT TECHNIQUES
Kids
I want to see all eyes pointed at my beak!
Come closer!
And get flocked-up seated.
Listen to this lesson
it’s a really important one
about
Using good sense when
we're out fishing
now
Edgar the Eager Egret...
well..
...when...
it came to certain things
was ill-equipped to use good sense
He loved eating fish without thinking a bit
and he did
but not very efficiently
and habitually
So
the Egret Elders
solicited the services
of a
Egret Professor Emeritus
With his extensive expertise in
fishing with edgy techniques
He tried to teach Edgar to
THINK before he fished
and to
be more sensible
for his own safety
If only Edgar could put
these things together
he'd have an edgier technique
and catch fish more efficientlyeeyore
But Edgar didn't get it
because he didn't listen to the lesson
because
when it came to fish
Edgar's brain was disconnected
The Egret Elders were
simply beside themselves
and
Issued this admonishment
for Edgar's edification
and it went:
“Foolishly seeking the fish
you wish
to be eating
with no regard to your safety
is entirely ludicrous
We got it
you don't get it
because you can't listen
to the lessons that it gives
But!
The lesson you won't want
will be taught too hard to ya anyway
Tragedy will give it
and that lesson ...
you'll GET!”
—soon after—
Edgar went fishing and got
a loop in his neck
Now
Edgar the Eager Egret has got Regret
He went to the hospital and
is getting excessive enemas
because that's the only treatment...
at least
that's what the Egret Doctor says
I want to see all eyes pointed at my beak!
Come closer!
And get flocked-up seated.
Listen to this lesson
it’s a really important one
about
Using good sense when
we're out fishing
now
Edgar the Eager Egret...
well..
...when...
it came to certain things
was ill-equipped to use good sense
He loved eating fish without thinking a bit
and he did
but not very efficiently
and habitually
So
the Egret Elders
solicited the services
of a
Egret Professor Emeritus
With his extensive expertise in
fishing with edgy techniques
He tried to teach Edgar to
THINK before he fished
and to
be more sensible
for his own safety
If only Edgar could put
these things together
he'd have an edgier technique
and catch fish more efficientlyeeyore
But Edgar didn't get it
because he didn't listen to the lesson
because
when it came to fish
Edgar's brain was disconnected
The Egret Elders were
simply beside themselves
and
Issued this admonishment
for Edgar's edification
and it went:
“Foolishly seeking the fish
you wish
to be eating
with no regard to your safety
is entirely ludicrous
We got it
you don't get it
because you can't listen
to the lessons that it gives
But!
The lesson you won't want
will be taught too hard to ya anyway
Tragedy will give it
and that lesson ...
you'll GET!”
—soon after—
Edgar went fishing and got
a loop in his neck
Now
Edgar the Eager Egret has got Regret
He went to the hospital and
is getting excessive enemas
because that's the only treatment...
at least
that's what the Egret Doctor says
Vampires Kiss
TRUE LOVE NEVER DIES
A journey beginning
from
the dark early morning hours
night fades turning to memory
till a wooden eave shades
walking to
the moments of a front door
and
where true love ever existed
it must still exist
even if a trinket in a
far corner
Not quite as ignored as
grandpa's name-engraved
silver baby cup and spoon
gurgles and laughs
no one ever knew
behind the
fine antique perfume bottles
with cut-glass latticed crown stoppers
on a oval beveled-glass mirror
beaming
random sparkles
Then there's that old paper label
on a permanent file
in the old metal sliding-drawer cabinet
never accessed
but just thumbed through
every
once
in a very great while, while
nights fade
and nights fade and
nights fade
and nights fade
but we
remember a few
_________________________
Today’s LittleNip:
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds.
—Percy Bysshe Shelley
_________________________
—Medusa, thanking Richard Hansen of Sacramento for a winsome repast this morning! Note also that the busy weekend in NorCal poetry continues; be sure to scroll down to the blue board (under the green board at the right of this column) for all the info.
—Anonymous
