Ellysa
—Poetry by Ellysa Greenhalgh,
Melbourne, Australia
—Photos Courtesy of Ellysa Greehalgh
TIED WITH A RIBBON
Breathing is rapid
Heart is pounding too fast
Palms are sweaty
Brain is whirling
Do I dare?
Can I risk myself again?
Gut is churning
I am still healing
Heart still has a open wound
Soul is scarred
Scars are not pretty
Legs feel weak
Am I strong enough?
I pick up my ribbon
I tie my scars together
Tuck them away
Hidden for now
I look in the mirror
I can’t see any beauty
Lumps & bumps all down my body
My shoulders slump
I look up
I dare you, I say
I stand up straight
I walk out of the house
I lower my inner walls
I am petrified
She smiles
I can see a future
All held in her eyes & smile.
Breathing is rapid
Heart is pounding too fast
Palms are sweaty
Brain is whirling
Do I dare?
Can I risk myself again?
Gut is churning
I am still healing
Heart still has a open wound
Soul is scarred
Scars are not pretty
Legs feel weak
Am I strong enough?
I pick up my ribbon
I tie my scars together
Tuck them away
Hidden for now
I look in the mirror
I can’t see any beauty
Lumps & bumps all down my body
My shoulders slump
I look up
I dare you, I say
I stand up straight
I walk out of the house
I lower my inner walls
I am petrified
She smiles
I can see a future
All held in her eyes & smile.
THE KEY
This cage surrounding me is unbreakable
Firmly locked, the key in a place unknown
I built this cage, so I can be broken no more
This fortress keeps me safe, there is no way to breach
Every cage has a weakness, I thought my weakness would not happen
Until she walked into my life, she knew my trauma
She showed me she was in no hurry, I was in control
She slowly breached my cage, she handed me the key
I opened up my cage, my heart started healing
I was released from that cage, the key of love set me free.
___________________
LAYERS OF ME
I started to peel off the final layer, hands shaking, what would I find
Would I be disappointed yet again, would I finally have to admit to total failure
Thoughts in my mind, telling me I would find only misery, nothing unique
I would not be able to face the truth, I would be finally weighed down too much
I have worked hard to find the real me again, find what was buried under layers
Too many years of being told I was nothing quashed me under mounds of layers
Each one I had taken off had stung, each time I felt more awake
As the final layer drops to the floor, I let the sting pass
I look within, I find a woman who is determined, caring, loving & kind
I know this woman, this woman I let come forth
I will not bury any of myself again.
This cage surrounding me is unbreakable
Firmly locked, the key in a place unknown
I built this cage, so I can be broken no more
This fortress keeps me safe, there is no way to breach
Every cage has a weakness, I thought my weakness would not happen
Until she walked into my life, she knew my trauma
She showed me she was in no hurry, I was in control
She slowly breached my cage, she handed me the key
I opened up my cage, my heart started healing
I was released from that cage, the key of love set me free.
___________________
LAYERS OF ME
I started to peel off the final layer, hands shaking, what would I find
Would I be disappointed yet again, would I finally have to admit to total failure
Thoughts in my mind, telling me I would find only misery, nothing unique
I would not be able to face the truth, I would be finally weighed down too much
I have worked hard to find the real me again, find what was buried under layers
Too many years of being told I was nothing quashed me under mounds of layers
Each one I had taken off had stung, each time I felt more awake
As the final layer drops to the floor, I let the sting pass
I look within, I find a woman who is determined, caring, loving & kind
I know this woman, this woman I let come forth
I will not bury any of myself again.
THE EMOTIONAL LOAD
Stop, look back, pull the load forward
Go, look forward, heave the load forward
Stop, don’t dwell, look in the load
Go, look at the memory, don’t take it
Stop, put memory back, hang on to every one
Go, look forward, hope is bright
Stop, rest, load is heavy
Go, look up, focus on future
Stop, look back, do I need the load
Go, let go, drop the load
Stop, breathe, you can let it go
Go, light, free, I don’t need the load anymore.
___________________
CRESTFALLEN
Her scars are so well hidden, tied up with a ribbon
They have pushed her to be driven, easy street never a given
She looks at them often, to remind her of what can not be forgotten
Her childhood forsaken, the reality was disillusion, her fate unchosen
She is the very definition of a self-made woman thriven
Her scars won’t stop her succession, those in her way are stricken with affliction
She knows how it feels to be a trophy decoration, there for a presentation
Now she loves her chosen, trophy hunters are left crestfallen
Strong, filled with intelligence & passion, her path forward unknown
She will walk it unshaken, knowing she is not forsaken
Untying her ribbon, scars no longer hidden
The path will widen, striding forward together, sun shining.
___________________
Today’s LittleNip:
NO COMPROMISE
—Ellysa Greenhalgh
It’s a hard-won battle within
To find your self, to strip the layers away
To bare your soul & to express yourself
Walk to your own beat, reject the social norms
Your authentic self is worth the fight
To say this is me, take me as I am
No pretenses, no pretending just to fit in
I do not fit in a box, you can not put a label on me
I walk my own path, I will not compromise me.
___________________
Ellysa Greenhalgh is a Melbourne poet living in the hills amongst the gumtrees, where she gets her inspiration from emotions she feels and watches others experience. Ellysa lives with her girlfriend Zoe and their 11-year-old daughter, Jemima, along with three dogs and two cats. See more from Ellysa at feversofthemind.com/2021/12/28/a-poetry-showcase-for-ellysa-greenhalgh/. Welcome to the Kitchen, Ellysa, and don’t be a stranger!
Stop, look back, pull the load forward
Go, look forward, heave the load forward
Stop, don’t dwell, look in the load
Go, look at the memory, don’t take it
Stop, put memory back, hang on to every one
Go, look forward, hope is bright
Stop, rest, load is heavy
Go, look up, focus on future
Stop, look back, do I need the load
Go, let go, drop the load
Stop, breathe, you can let it go
Go, light, free, I don’t need the load anymore.
___________________
CRESTFALLEN
Her scars are so well hidden, tied up with a ribbon
They have pushed her to be driven, easy street never a given
She looks at them often, to remind her of what can not be forgotten
Her childhood forsaken, the reality was disillusion, her fate unchosen
She is the very definition of a self-made woman thriven
Her scars won’t stop her succession, those in her way are stricken with affliction
She knows how it feels to be a trophy decoration, there for a presentation
Now she loves her chosen, trophy hunters are left crestfallen
Strong, filled with intelligence & passion, her path forward unknown
She will walk it unshaken, knowing she is not forsaken
Untying her ribbon, scars no longer hidden
The path will widen, striding forward together, sun shining.
___________________
Today’s LittleNip:
NO COMPROMISE
—Ellysa Greenhalgh
It’s a hard-won battle within
To find your self, to strip the layers away
To bare your soul & to express yourself
Walk to your own beat, reject the social norms
Your authentic self is worth the fight
To say this is me, take me as I am
No pretenses, no pretending just to fit in
I do not fit in a box, you can not put a label on me
I walk my own path, I will not compromise me.
___________________
Ellysa Greenhalgh is a Melbourne poet living in the hills amongst the gumtrees, where she gets her inspiration from emotions she feels and watches others experience. Ellysa lives with her girlfriend Zoe and their 11-year-old daughter, Jemima, along with three dogs and two cats. See more from Ellysa at feversofthemind.com/2021/12/28/a-poetry-showcase-for-ellysa-greenhalgh/. Welcome to the Kitchen, Ellysa, and don’t be a stranger!
Live poetry returns to Lincoln today, and the deadline for their annual Voices of Lincoln contest is this coming Thursday. Click UPCOMING NORCAL EVENTS at the top of this column for details about this and other future poetry events in the NorCal area.
____________________
—Medusa
Elyssa and Jemma
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