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Monday, September 20, 2021

Look, Ma! Lots of Teeth!

 

 
—Poetry by Michael Ceraolo, Joseph Nolan, 
Caschwa (Carl Schwartz), and Mark Twain
—Public Domain Photos Courtesy of Joseph Nolan



Modern Olympian Ode #54 (1904):  "If You Aint' Cheatin', You Ain't Tryin' "
—Michael Ceraolo, S. Euclid, OH

It has never been the official Olympic motto,
but it has been an unofficial one
of many competitors, going back almost
to the beginning of the revival of the Games.
In St. Louis this year, Fred Lorz,
competing in the marathon
(not yet standardized at the current distance),
decided to ride eleven miles,
almost half the race, in a car,
and was first thought to be the winner;
then, when he was found out,
claimed taking the shortcut was a joke
He was suspended from competition for life,
but was reinstated after a year
when officials decided a lifetime ban
was too harsh a penalty for an unfunny joke
As he won the Boston Marathon the next year
and finished near the top in several other marathons,
he probably didn't need to cheat
And as he died before thirty of pneumonia,
this poem will cut him some slack:
no one deserves eternal infamy
merely for a lame attempt at humor
 
 
 

 
 
Modern Olympian Ode #55 (1928, 1932):  From Prodigy to Pariah
—Michael Ceraolo

At sixteen, in Amsterdam,
Jean Shiley was among
the first females to compete in athletics,
finishing fourth in the high jump
She then returned to high school,
graduated,
                 and
matriculated at Temple University

Temple didn't have a women's track team;
she had to be a local club
to allow her to train at their facility
so she could continue to compete
And compete she did,
winning three straight national titles

In 1932, in Los Angeles,
in an early duel for the ages,
she was up against Babe Didrikson,
her far-better-publicized rival
The two of them jumped a world-record height,
then each exceeded that in the jump-off
(though the rules at the time prohibited
recognition of records set in a jump-off)
Instead of a shared gold medal,
Jean was awarded the sole gold
because the judges invoked an arcane rule
about Babe's jumping style,
though the two would share the world record

Another Olympics, another return to school:
she graduated in 1933,
                                   but
in the depths of the Great Depression
attending medical school was out,
                                                   so
she taught swimming and worked as a lifeguard
and also got a job with the WPA

In 1936, still the co-world-recordholder,
Jean wanted to defend her title
                                                But
Dan Ferris of the U.S. Olympic Committee,
midway through a fifty-year career
as one of the first sports bureaucrats
(and secure in earning his living),
declared her ineligible because
she had been paid for sport,
even though it wasn't the sport she competed in
 
 
 

 
 
IN SEARCH OF SANI-FLUSH
—Joseph Nolan, Stockton, CA

I want some shit that fizzes
And blows the dirt away
From every crack and crevice
Inside my bidet.

I want it to be strong
And last for several days
And really, really, really,
Blast it all away!

I remember there was
Some stuff like that
Where you just
Poured it in
And walked away,
Maybe its name was
“Sani-Flush”
Way back in the day.
If you recall, please tell me,
I’m tired of scouring rings
With pumice stones that
Turn to dust
And other useless things!
 
 
 
Cows Coming Home
 

 
CLEANING SOLUTIONS
—Joseph Nolan

This fuzz,
This foam,
These cleaning products
In our home,
Will last
In their current form,
Until the cows
Come home!

They have
Been designed,
To stun
The human mind,
With their
Perennial
Perseverance!

Half the
Battle’s won,
When you choose
The right one,
To satisfy
Your needs.

Just check the
Reference book,
Before you go
To take a look,
To find
What’s on the shelf,
To satisfy yourself
With project
Full-accomplished,
With product
Well-selected! 
 
 
 

 
 
THE THANKLESS JOB
—Joseph Nolan

There came a time
To do a thing
That no-one wanted doing.

Painful or difficult,
Like pulling teeth
Or mucking stalls,
Misery, would bring,
To do the
Wicked-thing-that-needed-doing,
That no-one wanted to do.

Who would be
The one set-out
To do it?
By lottery
Would choice be made
Since none would volunteer.

And so it was
That liberty
Took back-seat
To necessity;
The nasty thing was done,
Finally,
Resentfully,
Unpleasantly.

And he who was selected,
Was evermore rejected
As the doer of the awful thing
That no-one wanted to do,
But sorely needed doing,
Nonetheless.
 
 
 

 
 
WHAT SHE HAS TO SAY
—Joseph Nolan

The burden of conception,
The weight of birth and death,
The way they are demanding,
On every beat and breath
Of hearts
Carrying light
Into flesh,
And how they are encumbered
By anchors
Set aweigh,
Down into the murky depths
Beneath the hopes
Of those who pray—
A woman’s forlorn decision,
To bear or
Hold at bay,
Has become so painfully political
They don’t want to hear,
Anymore,
What she has to say.
 
 
 

 
 
WHEREFORE COMETH NOT HER SON?
—Joseph Nolan

Could someone ask young George
Why he doesn’t come by, anymore?
Why he doesn’t even bother
To darken his Mother’s door?

She says it’s been quite awhile
Since she’s seen him smile.

There’s rust
On blank, white parchment.
Nova Scotia
Bears laments,
Of sailors gone to sea

And everything
We cared about
Is gone from you and me!

But young George
Is not a’gone to sea.
He avoids his Mother,
Willfully
And thus,
He breaks her heart,
Which is why
She needs an anthem,
That comes and goes
In starts. 
 
 
 

 

Carl says: “Houses have feelings, too, and they are our caretakers.”

NO, I’M NOT
—Caschwa

your private runway;
stop circling around
with your jumbo cargo
jet…. lower and lower
path, lowered landing
gear, lo and behold
no landing lights, no
airport tower, no fancy
aviation accommodations,
not even primitive rock
formations, just a little
tract house with a short
driveway between the
street and the garage….

hear that? garage, not
hangar, my walls are
vibrating from the noisy
thunder of your giant
engines, causing my
foundation to shake, and
my shakes to tremble

OK, now you have changed
direction and are no longer
heading for my driveway,
but you really had me going
there for awhile; will this be
a daily routine? my poor
little walls! 
 
 
 

 
 
THIS QUESTION IS NOT ON THE TEST
—Caschwa

back in biblical times and before,
the winners of wars took the losers
as slaves

it got to be common, the norm, the
expected, an institution

then along comes America’s Democratic
Experiment, with its Civil War, contesting
the premise that the time had come to
put an end to slavery

so what, in this scenario, should the winners
do with the losers?

1) make them slaves, of course,
every rule has its exceptions
2) have everyone lay down their weapons
and talk things over
3) force them to cover their faces, carry
torches, and march around like idiots
4) allow a cooling-off time, then kill them

The question bin is full, while America is
still waiting for an answer…
 
 
 

 
 
THE EAGLE’S TOOTH FAIRY
—Caschwa

Dateline: 1865
The North won the Civil War
the South lost—on paper,
strongly holding onto their
belief that the wrong party
got the decision

that the federal government had
no standing to mess with their
affairs—“Don’t tread on me”

Then came Reconstruction,
another decision on paper
another intrusion of the damned
federal government—bad idea

in order to work, Reconstruction
would have had to include
penalties for non-compliance
equal to the bite of a sabretooth
tiger, but instead, apologetic
politicians put their dear baby
teeth under the pillow and made
a wish to suit everyone’s needs

America has been tormented
with this division ever since;
sorry, President Biden, as much
as you want to serve all the fish
in the sea, some fish are programmed
to eat the other fish, so we need you
to take your baby teeth and your
pillow, put them away in a safety
deposit box, and bring out that
fighting bald eagle who swallows
its prey whole

Look Ma, no teeth! 
 
 
 

 
 
THE DAY THE WAR WAS WON
—Caschwa

the hill was a very steep grade
like sending a bicycle to do
the rope climb in the
school gymnasium,
making it all
about legs
not arms

it took every ounce of
energy in the body
to push one pedal
then the other
until finally
reaching
the top

and once the deed was
done there was hardly
any time to catch a
necessary breath
before gravity-
dominated
derailleur
gears
sped
up

taking the bike and its rider
way too fast downward
while the two brakes
North and South
competed for
that last
flow of
pep

of course, if too much energy
was expended to one brake
the bike could flip over
completely out of
control, and
toss the
rider

so the bicyclist made the executive
decision to grip the two brakes
in equal measure to bring
the bike to a stop
with no more
drama 
 
 
 

 
 
NO END GAME
—Caschwa

he was the eldest member of
an inner-city street gang, very
adept at maneuvering alleyways
to paint graffiti messages on the
walls, returning later to embellish
them

an outcast from conventional
civilized society, he wanted his
artwork to be his legacy and
would stop and admire his efforts
before anyone else could voice
rejection

for his “day job” he would don a
robe and sit on the bench of the
Supreme Court, hearing all kinds
of legal pleas and, in his mind,
create more and more graffiti, as
insulation

people would approach this senior
fellow on the subject of retirement,
but he was just not ready to part
with a life style that fulfilled his need
to paint opinions on walls: priceless
contentment 
 
 
 
Swedish Subway
 


DAY OF CONTENTMENT
—Caschwa

Yom Kippur, the day of atonement
way ahead of you, proactive
already paid my dues and then some
ready to relax, take it easy

household is full of convenience tools
food prep, cleanup, just push a few buttons
remote controls, wireless phones, the
Internet, anywhere, any time you want it

all the news that’s fit to print, except on
Saturdays (Sac Bee subscribers will know
what I’m talking about*) got a whole bunch
of crossword and Sudoku puzzles stockpiled

as usual, political winds blow in promise and
hope, and schemes, and torrents of fake
news, making it seem like all of Congress
are skunks, but we knew that when we voted…


[*The complete
Sacramento Bee (and its puzzles!) are no longer delivered in paper form on Saturdays.]

____________________

Today’s LittleNip:

WARM SUMMER SUN
—Mark Twain

Warm summer sun,
    
   Shine kindly here,

Warm southern wind,
    
   Blow softly here.

Green sod above,
    
   Lie light, lie light.

Good night, dear heart,
    
   Good night, good night.

____________________

Today’s contributors, some addressing recent Seeds of the Week: "Contentment", and "Caretakers", had comments on everything from the Revolution to the Olympics to Sani-Flush, and we’re grateful to them for that—as well as for Joseph Nolan’s snappy-as-always public domain  photos! Thanks, fellas, and may you find contentment in your poetry, your cleaning products, and visiting your mothers . . .

Lots of poetry going on this week, especially Saturday the 25th! Looks like the season has started, in Zoom and on the hoof:

•••Tonight (9/20), 7:30pm, Sac. Poetry Center’s Socially Distant Verse present KM English and Kendra Tanacea on ZOOM at us02web.zoom.us/j/7638733462/. Meeting ID: 763 873 3462 (Passcode: r3trnofsdv).

•••Tues. (9/21), 7:30-9pm): SPC Tuesday night workshop (limited to 15 people, one page each, and 90 min.), hosted by Danyen Powell. Here is info that appeared on Facebook this week about this workshop:

The online workshops are limited to 15 people and 90 minutes (7:30 pm-9 pm). An invitation gets sent out every Tuesday morning inviting participants to register by 7 pm. Registration is first come, first served, so responding to this email promptly is recommended. Once a participant confirms (if there is still room), they get a zoom invitation with the password for that week. If the workshop is full, you’ll be notified via email. Contact molynnstoycoff@gmail.com for availability and Zoom info.

Workshop format:
Every week, each participant brings a poem for group critique. Maximum poem length is one page. Single-spaced PDFs show up best onscreen. For the time being, you will email your poem to molynnstoycoff@gmail.com by 7 pm Tuesday so that all the poems are screen-shared from one place. Poems are not workshopped over email or between sessions. As with the in-person workshops at the Hart Center, we begin at 7:30 with a read-around of a selected poet’s works. Then the facilitator, Danyen, will call on people to present their poems to be workshopped. The poem is put up on the screen and the author reads it aloud. There is a pause before critique starts, so everyone can give it a silent read.

As the group is giving gentle, constructive feedback, the author stays in silent listening mode. Once the critique is complete, Danyen will invite the author to ask any clarifying questions or make brief comments.

Newcomers are welcome to audit the workshop without bringing a poem the first time, in order to get a feel for the process. This workshop can be very useful for those who are serious about developing and publishing their work.

[Medusa says: I myself am a “graduate” of this workshop, though it’s probably been 15 years since I’ve attended, and of course that was the “live” version, down in the Hart Center in Sacramento. Even then, Danyen was the patient facilitator (bless his heart for facilitating us patients!). There is definitely criticism here, but “gentle”, as they say; I personally feel that you must be willing to listen to how other people are receiving your work if you want to improve it. It’s also a way to find kindred poetry souls in your community—and believe me, there are plenty of them here.]

•••Wed. (9/22), 6pm: Sac. Poetry Center’s workshop, Marie Writers, has a new Zoom link: us02web.zoom.us/j/89181123001?pwd=V1VpSTFTUksxdGsxN05OcmJ0M0dCUT09&fbclid=IwAR2V3anh44ubdyt33TOZuVIBYfquR3CdgejG7COra23so-a3FLYXQDv91i0#success/. Meeting ID: 842 9847 1451 (Passcode: 750335).

•••Wed. (9/22), 6-7pm: Authors Uncovered: LAX to SAC Poets kicks off the Sacramento Public Library’s Latino Heritage 2021 Series with an online bilingual poetry reading and panel. Advance registration for this virtual event on Zoom is required.
Reg/Info: www.facebook.com/events/3913282192109286/?ref=newsfeed/.

•••Fri. (9/24), 4pm: Writing from the Inside Out, SPC’s weekly prompt writing course facilitated by Nick LeForce. Register and receive a weekly writing prompt on Monday, and then join a read-around group on Fridays at 4pm to share your work. To register: www.facebook.com/events/151826190445651/?acontext={"event_action_history"%3A[{"surface"%3A"page”}]}/. After registering, you will receive a confirmation email containing zoom instructions.

•••Sat. (9/25), 2pm: Poetry of the Sierra Foothills ("Poetry is Gold in El Dorado County") presents Traci Gourdine & Patrick Grizzell with “Voices for Change”, plus open mic. Love Birds Coffee & Tea. Co., 4181 Hwy 49, Patio, Diamond Springs (where Hwy 49 meets Pleasant Valley Rd.). Host: Lara Gularte.

•••Sat. (9/25), 3:30pm: Sac. Poetry Center presents Poetry Fuzion Poetry Slam (PSI rules), $5 entry fee, 2 rounds, $100 First Prize. SPC Courtyard, 1719 25th St, Sac. THEN:

•••Sat. (9/25), 6pm: Sac. Poetry Center's Poets United, featuring Andru Defeye, Allegra Silberstein, Ike Torres, Vincent Kobelt, Natachi Mez, Jan Haag, Russell Cummings. DJ A Serious Production; Musician Douglas Wolfe. FREE. SPC Courtyard, 1719 25th St, Sac. Enjoy a complimentary dinner; friends and family welcome. Info: www.facebook.com/events/553211542588019/.

•••Sat. (9/25), 7pm & 8:15pm (ends at 9:15pm): T-Mo Entertainment presents Grown Man Business Poetry & Music Show (two shows): Spoken Word and Music with Terry Moore and special guest singer/musician SB the Moor, plus 2020 America’s Got Talent winner poet Brandon Leake at 8:15pm. Admission $10. Info/tix: www.facebook.com/events/577263843682227/?acontext={"event_action_history"%3A[{"surface"%3A"external_search_engine"}%2C{"mechanism"%3A"your_upcoming_events_unit"%2C"surface"%3A"bookmark"}]%2C"ref_notif_type"%3Anull}

•••Sat. (9/25), 7:30-9pm: Sac. Poetry Alliance (www.sacramentopoetryalliance.com) presents Four for the Quarter, a reading with Josh McKinney, Julia Levine, Traci Gourdine, and Jeff Knorr at 1169 Perkins Way, Sacramento. Info: www.facebook.com/events/290310312859077/?ti=ls/. Hosts: Frank Graham, Penny Kline. Please bring a mask if you are not vaccinated.

•••Sunday (9/26), 5pm: William O’Daly will be celebrating the life and work of his friend, poet, translator, essayist, and publisher Sam Hamill, with several other poets reading poems for, or in remembrance of, or by Sam in this Writing for Peace event (writingforpeace.org/sunday-live-readings), hosted and curated by poet and artist Juniper Moon, the current Writing for Peace artist-in-residence. Zoom: web.zoom.us/j/82093325006?pwd=aUZYTzF1MWhNakIrWXRhQ0NTOG1aZz09/. Meeting ID: 820 9332 5006 (Passcode: 212396).

Deadline: Oct. 31: Finishing Line Press Open Chapbook Competition: $1500 and publication for a chapbook-length poetry collection, perfect-bound print.
Info: finishinglinepress.submittable.com/submit/199003/2021-open-chapbook-competition?fbclid=IwAR2FXppHW8F3yif7FQDF9dK03-qHyGi_jPl_HdGNXfnDjUeMXIzHu1Zzx_w/.

__________________

—Medusa
 
 
 
Meowdusa
Look what Joseph Nolan Found on his
summer trip to the Catskills!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


Photos in this column can be enlarged by
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Just remember:
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for poetry, of course!
 
LittleSnake reads at Open Mic