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Monday, March 15, 2021

Bargain Hunting in Beverly Hills

 
Baby Yoda Joins Us Today For Good Luck on the Ides of March
—Poetry by Caschwa, Michael Ceraolo, Joseph Nolan
—Photos Courtesy of Joseph Nolan, Stockton, CA
 


THOSE DAYS
—Caschwa, Sacramento, CA

still remember when we
were the little people all
grouped into classrooms
sorted by names, numbers,
colors, sizes, whatever

every one of us a raw bulb
planted in the earth, our
tender roots sucking up as
much nutrients (food, fun,
play, joke) as we felt like

each of us was expected
to grow into something
special and wonderful, but
not make any choices too
soon, that was forbidden

there were older adults
doing everything they
could to bring the train to
a halt and get off, letting
their age go on without them

     yea, verily, go
     forth and multiply, compute,
     math is your future
 
 
 
Yoda Eating an Egg



TRENDING
—Caschwa

got my bare hiney off the
baled hay before hours
with the bright hopes of
going bargain hunting in
Beverly Hills to find a better
handbag to hang on my
bicycle handlebars 
 
 
 

 
 
LOVE THAT GAME*
—Caschwa

remove thoughts from your recent loss
and peel back that powerful grip
it is okay if you need some venting

you’ll be on top in just four minutes

remember how you aced it before!
that sure caused a stir

now just settle into your classic stand
for a minute or two

and you’re ready to serve


*This is a Found Poem, taken from the microwave cooking directions on a box of Saffron Road Frozen Chicken Pad Thai.
 
 
 
Wasp Carrying Water
 
 
 
BEWARE ADVICE
—Caschwa

     leave it alone and
     it will go away they say
     as if that could work


OK, try that with mold,
or with ants, squirrels,
moths, flies, feral cats,
communicable diseases,
the IRS, delinquent
parking tickets, that exam
you haven’t studied for,
a house fire, age marks,
cancer, prostitution,
obnoxious politicians,
addictions, organized
crime, inflation, people
who cut in line…
 
 
 

 
 
THREE POEMS FROM DUGOUT ANTHOLOGY
—A Collection by Michael Ceraolo, S. Euclid, OH

Bats

Given
the creativity called for in terraforming
as well as the lack of a native canopy,
it came as no surprise that advances in bats
were developed on outlying orbs
and then imported back to Earth,
                                                              though,
given the twenty-third-century movement
to ban patents on living things,
these advances would be in the creation of synthetic wood

The newly-created wood-like material
had the density of maple
(hardness for durability and pop)
and the flexibility of birch
(for more whip and bat speed),
and the mixture of the two
eliminated the drawbacks
each contained individually

An ash substitute wasn't considered,
because ash hadn't been used
after the tree had been placed
on the endangered-species list
due to continued infestation
of the emerald-ash borer,
                                                and
because the maple-birch blend
contained the best of all worlds

* * *

Miscellaneous Changes in Umpiring

1) A late twenty-first-century change
in the philosophy of umpiring
removed the last few remnants
of the mid-nineteenth-century 'gentlemen's era'
(change may sometimes be glacial,
                                                                but
it does come eventually)
Those remnants:
a batter batting out of order,
a baserunner failing to touch a base,
                                                                   and
a runner leaving early on a fly ball
Umpires would now rule on those plays
as they did on all other plays:
                                                      immediately,
without the need of a cumbersome appeal process
that had to be followed to the letter
in order to even ask the umpire
to reveal the knowledge he had

2) Elimination of the Appeal on Check Swings

This was another remnant of the 'gentlemen's era'
that required a ruling to be requested,
                                                                      but
because of the possibility that a base umpire
might not be in a position to be appealed to,
its elimination was not due to the requirement
that a request for a ruling be made;
                                                                  rather,
it was due to the installation
of sensors in home plate that detected
whether the bat had passed over them
A bat that had been tampered with
to avoid detection on such plays
resulted in the batter's immediate ejection,
                                                                                and
no substitute batter was permitted
to finish that particular at-bat,
                                                         resulting
in an automatic out for the team

* * *

Luna           July 4, 2---


To honor the fiftieth anniversary
of the first settlement here,
before the playing the inaugural game
we pause before the Armstrong-Aldrin
historical marker outside our first field,
                                                                        hoping
this will be the first of many seasons
of Lunar League Baseball

Signed,

Batter Jones
Pitcher Jones
Fielder Jones II
and 47 others
 
 
 

 
 
ANSWERING THE HOUSE PHONE
—Joseph Nolan

My house phone
Is hard to get to.
It’s hidden behind
My kettle on the oven,
In a corner of my kitchen,
And only rings twice,
To announce the senseless
Prattle of telephone-solicitors,
Who call me, incessantly,
Despite my prohibitions
That they should do so,
Squelching and squealing,
From the static-ruined speakers
Of my T.A.M.
I bought on sale
At Radio Shack,
Which it has outlived.

So, if you call,
Leave a long message
So maybe I can hobble
My elderly carcass
Across the lengthy room
To oh, so briefly loom
Above my distant phone
To answer it. 
 
 
 

 
 
COUGHING UP MUSSOLINI
—Joseph Nolan

Vesuvius
Erupts,
Momentarily.

Coughing up
Rough sediment,
That needs to
Be exhausted,

Into a brilliant
Italian sky,
That brought forth
Mussolini,

Not so long ago,
Whose appearance
On Earth
Was a strange,
Dismal birth,
Brought forth
For reason to die. 
 
 
 

 
 
THE BEAUTY OF HUMAN TOUCH
—Joseph Nolan

Oh! It’s so amazing!
How oftentimes, we bleed!
Not for any purpose:
Only because we need,
So much!

Like the beauty
Of human touch,
Slithering, soft hands,
Slicked with almond oil,
To over-run our
Toil-wracked muscles,
To give us ease, again!

Oh, how light is beauty!
How delicate is comfort!
How wondrous,
Human touch!

How beautifully,
We may feel,
When we’ve
Been touched
With love!
 
 
 

 
 
A STAR WITH A HEART OF GOLD
—Joseph Nolan

Every human being
Is a star
With a heart
Of gold.
Maybe you can’t see it?
This story has never been told.

How every one
Is conceived in love,
Nurtured in its fragility,
Supported, fed
And gradually led
Into its maturity.

Thus, by love
Is love begotten.

Then set free,
To reach its heights,
Then slowed
By age, descending,
Before finally
Reaching its ending,
Into eternity, blending.

Love into love,
Beginning and ending.

______________________

Today's LittleNip:

BLOOD-CURDLING DREAM
—Joseph Nolan

It was a blood-curdling dream,
From another part of town,
That seemed to rise up
From out of the ground,
With a piercing siren’s scream,
Making tables overturn
In the middle of
Everyone’s supper.

“Don’t dream too loudly
During dinner,” they all said
To the youngest child,
Blowing on his noise-maker,
Squealing like a pop-gun,
Unfurling its rolled-up banner
That said, “BANG!”

______________________

Thanks to our lively trio today for their poetry and photos today, as we enter a busy week. We just started Daylight Savings Time yesterday, St. Patrick’s Day is Wednesday, and the Spring Equinox is Saturday. (For the difference between an equinox and a solstice, see www.bustle.com/p/whats-the-difference-between-a-solstice-equinox-theyre-incredibly-different-44720/).

In addition to all these causes to party, we have some online poetry events:

•••Tonight (3/15) at 7:30pm, Sac. Poetry Center presents Socially Distanced Verse with Andrew Wells and Neil Creighton online. Join Zoom at 7:15 pm, reading starts at 7:30 pm: us04web.zoom.us/j/7638733462/. Meeting ID: 763 873 3462; passcode: r3trnofsdv/. Facebook info: www.facebook.com/events/3838301949595955/.

•••Thurs. (3/18), 8-9pm: Poetry Night in Davis presents Aaron Poochigian and SimplyE, the Poetess on Zoom: ucdavisdss.zoom.us/my/andyojones/. Facebook info: www.facebook.com/events/161805339099906/?acontext={"source"%3A"29"%2C"ref_notif_type"%3A"plan_user_invited"%2C"action_history"%3A"null"}&notif_id=1615668802691214&notif_t=plan_user_invited&ref=notif/.

•••Sun. (3/21), 3pm: Lincoln Poets Club open mic plus Jerry Steinman on Zoom: us02web.zoom.us/j/8281685839/.  Meeting ID: 828 1685 8339; passcode: 40179. Host: David Anderson.

•••Sun. (3/21), 3pm: Poetry Flash and Moe’s Books in Berkeley present Indigo Moor and Maxima Kahn online. Info: www.facebook.com/events/903003200451690/?acontext={"event_action_history"%3A[{"mechanism"%3A"search_results"%2C"surface"%3A"search”}]}/. See the featured books at bookshop.org/lists/poetry-flash-readings/.

___________________________

—Medusa
 
 
 
Quarantining With Pets
 














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 LittleSnake Goes Bargain Hunting
in Beverly Hills