Believe!

—Poetry by Lanser Howard, Sacramento, CA
—Public Domain Artwork 

PAIN

Pain.

You don’t know
what pain is.
Yet you write about it.

You must be there to
know.
Your imagination can’t
help you
with some things.

Have you ever felt the darkness
squeeze you
into silence?

Have you froze under
streetlights
with dirty needles under
your feet?

Have you ever seen
the eyes of the
dead
swirl around you?

Have you ever swung
from the gallows
of silence?

Have you felt the
burning heart
turn to stone?

I hope not.

It’s dark
very
dark
and
lonely. 

THE SCREAMING SILENCE

I can’t sleep
tonight
something breathes
in my ear.

The rage rattles
the cage around my heart
never any peace.

Beethoven symphonies
crash back and forth
I see bodies
hanging from the rafters
laughing
at me
telling me
to find a better way
but none of
this
touches a nerve.

It’s the dead
screaming silence
of loss
that kills me—
this I
cannot
live
with.

But dream to live without. 

FACE THE FIRE

Water drips down
my beating heart
the night surrounds
my lost soul.

Fate breathes
in my ear.

The weight of the
dead
swirls all around me.
I sink
but soar away
from fear.

I’m all alone
in this dark
chamber of screaming trees
and burning stars
alive with hope.

My eyes bleed
burn…
taste the flash
of alpine air
as my mind
screams
for the end
or
the way
to it all. 

THE SAD SEA

Why didn’t you talk to me.

Why did you suffer
in silence
and cry angry tears.

Why did you
let me walk down
all those streets
alone
while
you died alone
in an empty room
only half as empty
as my heart
filled with promise for you.

Now the waves die down
the still sadness
sets on a sad sea
swaying
crying against an angry sky
not wanting to roll in
to find
no one standing on the shore. 

KATHY ‘THE LION’

Truth keeps passion
alive.

Say goodbye
to fear.

Fight me
I dare you
I have more heart
than your wildest
dreams.

Goodnight
adios…
you coward…
FEAR.

Your guts
shine like a diamond, Kathy,
you will NEVER
bow down to fear,
your heart
stands like a pillar between
the
beats
of my
heart.

Your love
fuels my hope.

Never
will I see
the frailty
of weakness.

Never will
I lock eyes with
fear.

I’m a lion
proud
as a bell
in the night.

A flash of lightning
across
a coal black sky.

A blaze of hope
that burns deep
into the night.

I’m here.

See me? 

BELIEVE

There is a better place
I can see flashes of it.

A black cat glistening in the sun
the slow roll of raindrops
the pick of a guitar
a train whistle in the night.

Live in these moments
find them
BURN
them in your brain.

Forget about
the anger.

Let go
of that place.

The place that consumes your hope
and strangles possibility.

Find truth
in other people’s eyes
look for a different
shade of gray
create an imaginary place
and let the words fly.

The chips will fall
where
they may.

BELIEVE.

_____________________

Today’s LittleNip:

Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.

—Mark Twain

_____________________

 

 

 

 

A big thank-you to Lanser Howard today! Lanser began his career as a journalist and then transitioned into film, where he wrote and produced an award-winning documentary film, among other screenplays. His sole focus now is on poetry and literature, with The Screaming Silence as his first full-length book of poetry. (See thepoetrybox.com/bookstore/screaming-silence/.)

An Oakland, California native, now living in the Sacramento area, Howard travels the country selling food products by day, and being a writer by night. He has worked extensively with combat veterans, filtering their traumatic experiences through his eyes in much of his work to show you their world after the smoke clears, but the gripping pain remains.

Howard’s visceral, minimalistic style paints hard-hitting portraits of the dark and lonely process of fighting through tragedy and loss and how to heal oneself with words, hope, and an unwavering strength of self.  Read more about him on Instagram: @lanserhoward.

Welcome to the Kitchen, Lanser, and don’t be a stranger!

____________________

—Medusa

 

 Lanser Howard

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