—Photos by Caschwa, Sacramento, CA
PRONOUNCEMENTS
—Caschwa
he goes around picking up
other people’s lost marbles
before they descend into
the black hole
and then, eager to show off
his boundless intelligence
and massive generosity
he lays out these sparkling
jewels of spiritual guidance
on social media under his
own byline
sometimes it is a treasure
trove of the world’s finest
pornography, masquerading
as a reputable reference book
other times it is a mere babe
in the woods thrust into the
pilot’s seat
but mostly it is just a collection
of shallow stories…embellished
by wonderful lost marbles
_________________
DRIVEN TO EXTREMES
—Caschwa
911, what is your emergency?
I am in my house and am receiving some kind of
high frequency noise or something that is giving
me terrible headaches
Can you see any utility vehicles on your premises?
Negative
Are there drones visible outside around your house?
Negative
Are you watching political coverage on TV?
Yes, yes
Turn off the TV and try reading a classic novel
That works, thank you, you are wonderful!!!
IN MY DREAMS
—Caschwa
Witness: sworn in, gives testimony. Begins a new train of thought…
Counselor: interrupts, attempting to finish Witness’ sentence.
Witness: exits the witness chair, begins to leave the stand, gestures toward the counselor and declares: “OK, I’ll take a seat at your table and you can come up here, swear in, and testify.”
Judge: The witness is out of order. You will retake your seat on the stand and continue with your testimony.
Witness: With all due respect to the Court, you need to do more than sit there like you’re watching a movie when counselor tries to silence my sworn testimony in favor of his own verbiage.
__________________
UNDER OATH
—Caschwa
1) The witness was at the scene of an event but cannot recall any details
2) The witness didn’t see an event, so there is nothing to recall no matter how good the witness is at retrieving memories
3) The witness didn’t see an event, but conjures up a feasible-sounding memory just to avoid the appearance of having trouble retrieving memories
4) The witness has no independent recollection of an event, but rather recites statements and conclusions drawn from other sources
5) The witness is a pathological liar, so no one will ever really know the truth of the matter
6) The question given to the witness is based on false information or a false premise
7) The juror was in a jury pool that was sworn in as a group, answered “no” when everyone else answered “yes”, and just wasn’t heard
8) and more like that ….
WALK A MILE…
—Caschwa
You might be empaneled to judge me, but you are
not truly my peer unless and until you have:
struggled with properly securing camera film, audio recording tape, movie film, or a typewriter ribbon, onto a take-up reel
corrected typos on carbon copies in a manual typewriter
driven a full-size car that does not have power steering
dialed every digit of every telephone number on a rotary dial phone to place a call
managed to find and reach your destination using street maps
created a piece of furniture without using a power tool
driven a car regularly for years having only the limited entertainment options of AM radio
suffered the hazards and inconvenience of using bias ply tires
waited until you reached age 21 to acquire some of the same rights we grant to 18-year-olds today
had to carry a draft card
been pulled over by the police on at least 4 occasions, each time while driving a different year, color, and model of car, and were told “A car like yours was used in a crime.”
been in the situation where you have to quickly find a working pay phone in a private booth that furnishes a recent phone book in usable condition, and then you have to scrounge and beg for sufficient change to initiate the call
maintained a love affair with the spouse you married over 36 years ago
recovered from a coma
donated an organ
had both eye lenses replaced, and one thumb reattached
THE WORLD OF POETRY
—Joseph Nolan, Stockton, CA
In the world of poetry
There is paper for magic
And ink for brilliance.
Can you see it shine
Up from the page
Like little diamond crystals
From mind to mind
Heart to heart
And soul to soul?
It is waiting
To be eaten,
The product of
Many sleepless nights
Of poets who answered
Muses’ calls
And put pen to paper
To trace the flow of magic
Across the nighttime sky.
__________________
WORKINGMAN’S LIFE
—Joseph Nolan
I screwed a lot of screws
Onto a lot of bolts.
It was my job,
For which I took
A lot of jolts,
From electrical emissions
And family permissions
To let me do my work,
But only by
The grace of my paycheck
Was I not a jerk
Among them all.
So it goes for
A workingman.
People expect you
To bring home the beef,
To go to work without
Complaint,
And be a man-in-chief,
When you get home.
Why do you feel so lonely
As a man-of-the-house?
Don’t you know
Everybody loves you
As long as you feed them?
People feed their dogs
Until they die;
The same with their horses,
Or, at least they try,
To keep on working and feeding
Everyone they owe a lullaby.
TAXES
—Joseph Nolan
The government taxes my income.
The government taxes my land.
The government taxes my wealth.
When I die, it takes a sizable share.
Its taxing will never cease.
Each day,
I pay the sales tax.
Each year,
A tax return.
Why do they call it “return”?
It never comes back this way.
I’ve never heard
The government say,
“We’re sorry we taxed you so much!”
ORCHIDS IN SAND
—Joseph Nolan
Somewhere are orchids
Putting down roots
Into sandy soil
That might blow out
From beneath them.
They don’t have
To root deeper
Each and every day;
Some days can
Be vacation days.
Roots grow
Stronger with discipline—
The future made
More determined
By continuous effort.
Sand may be
Turned into concrete
With just a daily
Application of mortar.
Leave some cracks
To let the rain
Soak in.
____________________
Today’s LittleNip:
NO FENCES IN HEAVEN
—Joseph Nolan
They don't build fences in Heaven.
Someone would steal all the nails.
____________________
Good Monday morning! The moon is full and my snakes are a-stirrin’… Our thanks to Joe and Caschwa for being hard at work on poems and for sending them along to the Kitchen, and also to Caschwa (Carl Schwartz) for his fine photos, too. The sunflower is from his garden. Carl has sent us mostly list poems this week, but his first poem is a response both to recent Seeds of the Week, and to Medusa’s distress cry last week about losing her marbles. At least someone found them. (By the way, today IS Columbus Day, right….?)
And congratulations to Joseph Nolan for his Honorable Mention at the annual Jack Kerouac Contest in Davis for his poem, “Enchanted by Jazz”! Joseph and the other winners read their poems last Friday night at the John Natsoulas Gallery, after a reading by Gary Snyder. Another Honorable Mention was won by Frank Dixon Graham, and congrats to him for that!
Poetry in our area begins at 7:30pm at Sac. Poetry Center, with Linda Jackson Collins and Geoffrey Neill, plus open mic. On Thursday, Sac. Poetry Center presents Third Thursdays in the Sacramento Room of the Central Library on I St. in Sacramento; bring poems by someone other than yourself. Also on Thursday, beginning at 8pm, Poetry in Davis features Margaret Ronda plus open mic at the John Natsoulas Gallery on 1st Street in Davis.
Friday at 7:30pm, The Other Voice in Davis presents Vincent Kobelt and Alice G. Walker plus open mic at the Unitarian Universalist Church on Patwin Road in Davis. There will also be another reading this weekend in Davis, this one at the Davis Arts Center Poetry Series on Sunday at 2pm with Mischa Kuczynski plus open mic at the Davis Arts Center on F St.
Have a hankerin’ for some cowboy poetry, or want to read some yourself? This Saturday at 1pm, 2:30pm, and 4pm, Manzanita Arts Emporium in Angels Camp presents Hoot ’N Holler—Cowboy Poetry & Storytelling. Audience members are encouraged to sign up to tell a story or poem, Wild West style. Info/entry form: www.manzapress.com/events/hoot-n-holler-cowboy-poetry-storytelling/.
Then this Sunday, Poetry of the Sierra Foothills presents Adam Sodofky and Alamgir Hashmi plus open mic. at Caffé Santoro on Pleasant Valley Rd. in Diamond Springs, 1-3pm. Scroll down to the blue column (under the green column at the right) for info about these and other upcoming poetry events in our area—and note that more may be added at the last minute.
Interested in workshops? Check the green box at the right for a listing of local ones which will be held this week and/or later.
—Medusa, celebrating the poetry of the full moon!
When Medusa goes off her trolley...
—Anonymous
Photos in this column can be enlarged by
clicking on them once, then clicking on the x
in the top right corner to come back to Medusa.
clicking on them once, then clicking on the x
in the top right corner to come back to Medusa.