Photo by Carl Bernard Schwartz
SOME SCHWARTZKU
—Carl Bernard Schwartz, Sacramento
A gladiator’s August
A poet’s story
An unsailed dory
Forbidden carmel knowledge
Corporate sponsors
Winter recipe
The blooms of love
Abandoned children
Hidden treasures
Rain forest excess
Barren desert
Surf’s up
Coastal June sea breeze
Check your car and spouse
for rusted bottoms
Bees and blooms
Brides and grooms
Foreclosure looms
The coffee’s hot
Breakfast is ready
You’re not invited
Spring training
Spring cleaning
There are no box seats
Everyone is welcome
to help whitewash my fence
Join in
Autumn leaves die and fall
Become a chore
Praise life!
___________________
STARVE KIDS YOU CAN’T FEED
—Carl Bernard Schwartz
Schwarzenegger’s
Executive Order
Reduces workers’ pay.
Experts guessed wrong. Everyone
Loses.
If
You have
More kids than
You can feed, starve
Them.
Who
Puffed up
The housing bubble?
Sub prime lenders, no
Accountability.
Blame
The recession
On those who
Said we’re not in
One.
Spread
The pain.
Realtors, bankers, watchdogs
Owe 15% to General
Fund.
Honor
The promises
Of old fashioned
Good faith collective bargaining
Agreements.
Finally,
When all
Is done, Schwarzenegger
Will feel our pain…
Not.
__________________
WHEN POETS WRITE WARNING LABELS
—Carl Bernard Schwartz
My goodness sakes! Oh, dear, oh dear!!
Do not drink this liquid.
It makes you ill, I fear, I fear,
A very, very sick kid.
With looks that are deceiving,
Mild innocence untrue,
It will not take the place of
Your daily favorite brew.
Your face will turn hyacinth
With bold shades of azure.
Doctors cannot help you now,
As there is no known cure.
Breathing won’t come easily,
Your belly will distend
As you shake and ask Why me? till
The awful gruesome end.
You may visit Capistrano
To see swallows who’ve flown south.
Whatever else you want to do,
Don’t put this in your mouth.
__________________
THE POLYGAMOUS POET
—Carl Bernard Schwartz
I am happily married to
more than one MRS, who
co-exist well in my house.
The first, of course,
is my main driving force,
my lawfully wedded spouse.
The next MRS I love
are the divine blessings of
Memory, Reason, and Skill.
Though master of none,
I appreciate each one
as a mountain that starts with a hill.
Last but not least
I love the poetry feast
of Meter, Rhythm, and Sound.
There could be more MRS
deserving of kisses,
but these are all I have found.
__________________
Way up high in the Tulip Tree
far above our everyday worries,
blossoms grow that not all will see,
preoccupied with their hurries.
—Photo and Poem by Carl Bernard Schwartz
__________________
PRODUCT LINES
—Carl Bernard Schwartz
Astrolabe
Was replaced
By the sextant.
The new Chevy Astro:
Sex?
Stayclear®
Says Clearasil.
Those words also appear
On roads by limit lines. Streets have
Acne.
Post
Affixed, Nailed
Announcing, proclaiming, heralding
To everyone in the village:
Cereal.
ESL 101
—Carl Bernard Schwartz
What is a post?
Battery post, Dental, Emily, Fence, Hitching,
New York, Out, Parcel, Sign, Trading, Web;
Post haste, No Bills, Office, Partum, Toasties, Game, Bail.
Switch
We toggle between sagacious and nugacious,
there is no middle ground, no shades of gray:
Superstar or loser, wealthy or bankrupt,
Devil or angel, able bodied or handicapped.
Is the cup half full, or half empty?
It depends on who is wearing it.
Those display racks at the shoe store
purposefully steer shoppers
to think out of the box…
until the sale is made…
then it’s right back in the box again.
We should wear those boxes on our feet.
The tide is coming in.
The tide is going out.
It doesn’t really matter, just bring me a towel,
‘cause my trunks are out there in the tide
whichever way it’s going.
A drinking vessel on a sailing vessel.
A man in drag at a drag race.
A pair of drawers in a chest of drawers.
You’re not stopping, so I will.
___________________
Today's LittleNip:
LASREVER
—Carl Bernard Schwartz
Up near the top of the cherry tree, you
Get some of the best fruit, but you
Can’t wait long, because of the birds.
I started eagerly to fill my basket
And then I needed both hands to balance.
Fallen, but pride hurt worse than body,
I’ve since learned that a ladder will
Help this go more smoothly.
__________________
—Medusa
—Carl Bernard Schwartz
Astrolabe
Was replaced
By the sextant.
The new Chevy Astro:
Sex?
Stayclear®
Says Clearasil.
Those words also appear
On roads by limit lines. Streets have
Acne.
Post
Affixed, Nailed
Announcing, proclaiming, heralding
To everyone in the village:
Cereal.
__________________
ESL 101
—Carl Bernard Schwartz
What is a post?
Battery post, Dental, Emily, Fence, Hitching,
New York, Out, Parcel, Sign, Trading, Web;
Post haste, No Bills, Office, Partum, Toasties, Game, Bail.
Switch
We toggle between sagacious and nugacious,
there is no middle ground, no shades of gray:
Superstar or loser, wealthy or bankrupt,
Devil or angel, able bodied or handicapped.
Is the cup half full, or half empty?
It depends on who is wearing it.
Those display racks at the shoe store
purposefully steer shoppers
to think out of the box…
until the sale is made…
then it’s right back in the box again.
We should wear those boxes on our feet.
The tide is coming in.
The tide is going out.
It doesn’t really matter, just bring me a towel,
‘cause my trunks are out there in the tide
whichever way it’s going.
A drinking vessel on a sailing vessel.
A man in drag at a drag race.
A pair of drawers in a chest of drawers.
You’re not stopping, so I will.
___________________
Today's LittleNip:
LASREVER
—Carl Bernard Schwartz
Up near the top of the cherry tree, you
Get some of the best fruit, but you
Can’t wait long, because of the birds.
I started eagerly to fill my basket
And then I needed both hands to balance.
Fallen, but pride hurt worse than body,
I’ve since learned that a ladder will
Help this go more smoothly.
__________________
—Medusa
Photo by Carl Bernard Schwartz