"As he stared at her ample bosom, he daydreamed of the dual Stromberg carburetors in his vintage 'Triumph Spitfire'." This was the winning submission in San Jose State University's annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, submitted by Dan McKay of Fargo, N.D. This contest is intended to celebrate the "worst writing in the English language—people with a little talent but no taste." McKay also compared his heroine's anatomy to the "small knurled caps of the oil dampeners."
We can do better. Extolling women is so "played"; let us extol the emu. On my trip to Coos Bay, we stopped at Wildlife Safari, where a fine little set of emus had recently hatched, scattering themselves across the road and holding up large herds of SUV's with cameras while tourists desperately tried to avoid running over these fluffs on toothpicks. Then, when I got to our relatives' house, they had a large black emu egg which had been sent by somebody in the family who actually raised emus for a while. (They finally got rid of them, though—apparently emus "eat too much", plus something about them being hard to "part out"...)
Anyway, send in a poem about emus (kathykieth@hotmail.com) before AUGUST 5 and receive a free copy of Colette Jonopulos' rattlechap, The Burden of Wings. Make it a limerick and get a free copy of Rattlechap 13.1, Why We Have Sternums by Kathy Kieth, in addition. Make it a sonnet and get a free year's subscription, as well as both books: 4 Snakes, 3 Snakelets, 2 Vypers, and assorted littlesnake broadsides—all sent to your home!
Here are three poems by Emily Dickinson about writing and the poet. Being a publisher of sorts, I won't include the one where she tells us what she thought about publishing—though I definitely agree with her about the dangers of careerism:
A word is dead
When it is said,
Some say.
I say it just
Begins to live
That day.
________________
Tell the Truth but tell it slant—
Success in Circuit lies
Too bright for our infirm Delight
The Truth's superb surprise
As Lightning to the Children eased
With explanation kind
The Truth must dazzle gradually
Or every man be blind—
_________________
The Poets light but Lamps—
Themselves—go out—
The Wicks they stimulate—
If vital Light
Inhere as do the Suns—
Each age a Lens
Disseminating their
Circumference—
__________________
By the way, I am well aware that you probably don't have a poem about emus in your repetoire. So I guess you'll just have to write one....!
Also in the Bee today: an article and picture in the Metro section of Eugene Redmond, poet and former CSUS professor who created Drumvoices Revue. Redmond, one of the leading voices in the black arts movement, is hosting a series of readings around the country, including 1-4pm this Saturday at Studio 33 (709 J St., Sac.) and from 3-5pm August 6 at Carol's Books, 300 Florin Rd., Sac.
The latest issue of Poetry Depth Quarterly is out, and this one is packed with local poets—too many to list! Also beautiful art by Charlotte Vincent, who collaborated with poet Joyce Odam on SnakeRings SpiralChap #5, Caught Against the Years. Purchase the new PDQ from Joyce, or order it from poetdpth@aol.com—some of the current PDQ poems are posted on there, in fact.
Or, heck—forget all about words and head out to the 17th Annual Strauss Festival of Elk Grove, tonight through Sunday at 7:30, Strauss Island in Elk Grove Regional Park. Tickets are free; parking is $10. Get there early.
—Medusa