Lucas and Lucy Deal With Etiquette

 

—Poetry by Snigdha Agrawal, Bangalore, India
—Ilustrations Courtesy of Public Domain

 

 

 

LUCY’S COMPLAINTS

“Shush!” said Mum,
“

A proper young lady,


Raised right and polite,


Doesn’t burp or toot—


At least…
not in public sight.”

Four-year-old Lucy,
wide-eyed and sincere,


Took it all in, but something wasn’t clear.


She frowned, then asked with innocent might,


“But why can Grandma


Fart morning, noon, and night?”

Grandma chimes in, justifying…


“It’s wisdom, my dear


Let the pressure fly!


Hold it in too long,


And you just might die!”
Mum nods with a smile.

“Shush!” said Mum,
Taking her aside, 


“Your grandma’s… vintage.


A well-aged jug


Of sass and gas;


A relic of free-range
Past etiquette.
Nothing to hide.”

To Lucy, consoles
“Hush now, my dear,
Don’t fuss or despair.


One day you’ll be eighty,


With zero cares to spare.


You’ll toot with pride,
no shame, no fear


even if others hear.
For now, just follow
The decorum.”

 

 

 

 

LUCAS THE FARTING TERROR

Lucy is indignant at first
Never mind Grandma
What about Lucas?
Mum stays mum
When Lucas the terrier
Farts even worse.

So what if he’s warm
and curls up near my foot?
I have to tell Mum
about his sneaky traits—
stinky odour filling the air
hitting my nostrils
coming in waves
I’m unable to breathe
But he doesn’t care.

Ah! But Mum is quick to
come to his defence
“He’s just being himself”
How so, convenient
While I have to behave
Like a genteel girl always
That’s no logic, Lucy weighs.

 

 

 

LUCAS RESPONDS

Woof! Woof! Lucas responds…
You may think I’m a menace


A stink-machine pup


But listen here, Lucy


I’m just gassed up.

You tuck me in tight


Like I’m some stuffed bear,


Then scream when I “whoosh”


A bit of warm air.

You feed me the scraps,


Your crusts and your beans


What did you expect?


a whiff of Versace?

You toot in the loo


With a princessy pout


But I drop one squeaker


And you report me to Mum?

But don’t act so prim,


Like you don’t let a slip


Remember that Tuesday?


You blamed me. I flipped.

You smiled so sweetly,


Then shuffled away


Mum blamed me again.


Typical day.

So, here’s the real truth:


You fart just as loud.


But you hide behind rules.


I fart proud.

_______________________

Today’s LittleNip:

The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.

—Thomas A. Edison

_______________________

—Medusa, with thanks to Shigdha Agrawal for today’s fine, unexpected  humorous poetry today!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 A reminder that
EDC Poet Laureate
Stephen Meadows reads
at the Placerville Library
today, 1pm; and three
Author Workshops take place
in Elk Grove today,
starting at 3pm.
For info about these and other
future poetry happenings in
Northern California and otherwheres,
click on
UPCOMING NORCAL EVENTS
(http://medusaskitchen.blogspot.com/p/wtf.html)
in the links at the top of this page—
and keep an eye on this link and on
the daily Kitchen for happenings
that might pop up
—or get changed!—
 during the week.

Photos in this column can be enlarged by
clicking on them once, then clicking on the x
in the top right corner to come back to Medusa.

Poets’ bios appear on their first MK visit.
To find previous posts, type the name
of the poet (or poem) into the little
beige box at the top left-hand side
of this column. See also
Medusa’s Rapsheet at the bottom
of the blue column on the right
side of this column to find
any date you want.

Miss a post?
You can find our most recent ones by
scrolling down under this daily one.
Or there's an "Older Posts" button
at the bottom of this column.
(Please excuse typos in older posts!
Blogspot has been through a lot of
incarnations in 20 years!)

Would you like to be a SnakePal?
Guidelines are at the top of this page
at the Placating the Gorgon link;
send poetry and/or photos and artwork
to kathykieth@hotmail.com. We post
work from all over the world—including
that which was previously published—
and collaborations are welcome.
Just remember:
the snakes of Medusa are always hungry—
for poetry, of course!