Chewing on Nuts

 

St. Nicholas & Krampus Visiting a Child

—Poetry by Michelle Kunert, Sacramento, CA
—Public Domain Illustrations

 

 

 

KRAMPUS

Being of German heritage, I've always thought it would be cool to send Krampus on someone rather than merely have Santa give that person coal
No, I wouldn't send Krampus to kill like in a horror movie made a few years ago which portrays a German-born Holocaust survivor who decides to call on Krampus to murder her dysfunctional American family
I would only want to scare some people like Amazon's Jeff Bezos or even Donald Trump, people who are being irresponsible, using their wealth to oppress the poor. I'd scare them much like the ghosts of Christmas do to Scrooge in Dicken's A Christmas Carol.

 

 

 

 

I learned several years ago something about reindeer herding that kind of grosses me out:

apparently native reindeer herders in the North Pole countries have this centuries-old tradition—
They use their teeth on the testicles of certain selected male reindeer to "neuter" them,
especially those chosen to be used as tame work animals
So if the fantasy of Santa Claus was real
Santa would have to say something like,
I'm going to have to calm you down by first chewing on your "nuts"!
(No, I am not endorsing sexually abusing animals nor bestiality.)

 

 

 

 

ABOUT DAVE PROWSE PASSING
 
Considering the passing away of Darth-Vader-actor Dave Prowse:
my parents took my brother and me, in about 1979, to see him speak
They hoped Darth Vader’s voice actor, James Earl Jones, would come with him
To my family's disappointment, Jones would be a no-show
and Prowse boringly lectured in the Darth suit without the helmet on
I forgot almost everything Prowse said
and the audience’s questions were not asking about him
but about director George Lucas and his plans to continue the sci-fi saga
and Prowse didn't even know if Darth Vader would get what he deserved,
or even get killed off, rather than return to commit more evil
So much for playing a villain character whom no one would have any compassion for

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Today’s LittleNip:

Some aspects of the social distancing of the Covid pandemic might actually make things easier for mall santas
For instance they get to be seen behind plexiglass and therefore don't have to worry about such things as possibly having a frightened child pee in their lap

—Michelle Kunert

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Thank you, Michelle Kunert, for reminding us of Krampus and how he can Kramp our act if we haven’t behaved ourselves! Is that Krampus who chews on reindeer nuts and pees in Santa’s lap? He certainly has had a hand in the good ol’ USA during 2020! For more about Krampus, see en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Krampus/—and don't give him a chance to Kramp YOUR style...

—Medusa

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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