I Think I'd Rather Go To Argentina

—Anonymous Photos of Things Found Under Houses

[Warning: Not for the Faint of Heart]

A MORNING GET-TOGETHER
—Joseph Nolan, Stockton, CA

If you get up early,
I could come for tea
And sex in the morning,
And maybe a scone
Or an omelette
Or strong coffee-brew?
Let me know
What you’d like to do?

After, there’s laughter
And a green, shady park;
If I come over
I might stay ‘til dark,
If you’ll have me.

Maybe we’ll pack
A lunch to eat,
Before we head back,
Maybe, under a tree,

Or maybe
We’ll just lie and be,
In our after-comfort
And talk of
Our histories?

_________________

A PERFECT RECIPE
—Joseph Nolan

A perfect recipe
Needs a perfect measure.
The perfection of pleasure
When it comes out
Just right!

We both recall
And treasure
The cheese cake
That rose just right
On a warm September night.

We dipped our fingers in
And rubbed it
On our warm and silky skin
And licked it off!
And let the remnants
Linger on our lips
The whole night long.

I KNOW THAT NO-ONE DIES
—Joseph Nolan

Anonymity:
To live without a name;

I do not need you—
Your belief in death—
You think
Makes us
All the same.

Death gives
No advantage
Over passing.

I imagine
All the sleeping
Souls in Heaven,
Waking all at once
In one morning,
Wondering how you
Could ever be so lame
As to believe
Life might be lost
When it leaves
A cage of bones,
Though passing is the cost.

I know that no-one dies.

________________

THE DANCE OF THE GREATER VICTIM
—Joseph Nolan

We must have at least two,
Pissed off,
It seems,
One pissed, alone, won’t do!

We must dance the dance
Of the Greater Victim,
And dance until one wins,
Before real talking begins.

After all,
The chairs
Are all marked
And perfectly aligned,
Just like bowling pins,
And the Winning-Greater-Victim
Goes first with her bowling ball.

A POET’S LETTER TO HIS PUBLISHER
—Joseph Nolan

Have you thrown out my stuff?
I haven’t heard back from you for eons!
The last time our criss-crossed
Communications were lost
Was in the United Nations.

I know that they’re
All communists,
Just like you,
But what are we to do,
When everyone,
It seems,
Wants salvation
From nationalist
Preoccupation?

Well, I for one,
Won’t go
Where no one has
Gone before,
Into virgin territory,
Since virginity
Is hardly, no more!

Except, perhaps,
On foreign shores
Where natives
Sleep in wrappers,
And haven’t
Heard of rappers,
Who call
Their lovers
Bitches and whores!

And they
Should know,
Since they’ve
Loved them
Before,
With a simple,
Animal grace.

_________________

I THINK I’D RATHER GO TO ARGENTINA
—Joseph Nolan

Select reject.
Self-eject
From the pecking order.
Pecking is such a disorder!
It leaves
Marks upon one’s head.

I think I’d rather
Go instead,
South!
To Argentina.

I hear the girls
In Argentina
Have no pointy beaks
And each one softly speaks

About her times
In the saddle
With gauchos
Who would paddle
Horses upstream
With all their might
By any means,

And don’t forget the Tango!
Ah! The Tango!
Repercussions are removed
From men whose steps are smooth,
From ladies who know how to swoon.
As if they really felt it,
For sensuous transgressions. 

RUNNING
—Ann Privateer, Davis, CA
 
Running in the rain
Creates a downpour
Of sweat known only
By the runner
Who is as hot
As a put-out fire
As sure-footed
As a moose
Trying not to slip
Or trip, or miss
This daily hip routine
By a woman in rain
Who power runs.

She is not obsolete
Her bare webbed feet
Are complete
Well defined
Aligned, set apart
From the daily grind.

________________

REMEMBERING
—Ann Privateer
 
Remember the moment
When we asked a stranger
To take our photo
And laughed in unison
At our image frozen in time
Just you and I
So many years ago?

Now, no laughter
Our hearts un-unisoned.

 Komodo Dragon

EVERYTHING UNDER THE SUN
—Caschwa, Sacramento, CA
 
Absolute liability
Best case scenario
Cheap seats
Do as I say, not as I do
Every vote counts
Final exam
Grand entrance
Hall of Justice
Impenetrable
July 4th
Knowledge is king
Laissez Faire
Mexico will pay for the wall
No new taxes
Original sin
Perfect crime
Quicksand
Reasonable doubt
Suicide lane
Thom Thumb
Unsinkable
Vital organs
War to end all wars
X-ray vision
Yard sale
Zoning regulations

_______________

RETRO INACTIVE
—Caschwa

Surrey with the fringe on top
spurs that jingle and jangle
big, showy earrings that dangle

Up periscope
now or never!
nothing lasts forever

I wish I were a fish
all the thousands of ways
to make maize

You have to experience it
M_I_C,   K_E_Y
ghost riders in the sky

Kids say the darndest
Love that Bob
teenage heartthrob

High noon
Sea Hunt
Allen Funt

Smile, you’re on
Little House in the
Mighty Mouse 

 Rattler
 

OUT OF THE HATBOX
—Caschwa

Everywhere one looks there are
round plates
round saucers
round cups

even paper plates are round

But why?
It certainly seems to be of no
big advantage to the consumer.

Looked it up online:
before the Industrial Revolution
these items were commonly
fashioned on potters’ wheels

Imagine that!
In the age before cell phones,
TV, landing on the Moon, and
laser surgery, they figured out
a way to make round plates

Why are we still stuck on that? 

LIMITED LIFETIME WARRANTY
—Caschwa

I bought a super duper, special
garden hose and it worked very
well, thank you

until one day it broke right where
a thirsty wand attachment was
waiting for water

lucky for me it was covered
under a guarantee, which stated
in quite strong, unilateral terms

that I would have to ship it to
them on my dime, plus pay them
$10 for return postage…

…assuming they would not then
dispute that warrantee coverage
would and should apply in this
case

life being tough enough without
these struggles, I went to one of
the stores where I usually buy my
groceries and bought a nice
replacement hose which is working
very well, thank you

____________________

Today’s LittleNip(s):

NO SHAME
—Caschwa

A venomous snake will bite you
and leave you in terrible pain
you can scold it till it sheds its skin
and repeats, all over again

• • •

ANOTHER SING-ALONG
—Caschwa

When you wish upon a weather balloon
Everyone knows you’re a common buffoon
It makes no difference anyway
If your family has money

__________________

A mighty Monday thank-you to our poets today as we work our way through August, 2019. Our Seed of the Week is Under the House, so I found some photos, creepy or otherwise, of things people have found (or put) under the house—including three komodo dragons!

And I’ve continued to update the Kitchen. Is your website/blog/whatever listed in the bottom section of the blue box to the right of this column? If not, please let me know at kathykieth@hotmail.com/. There’s room there for personal websites, as well as poetry publishers and other po-businesses.

Tonight, 7:30pm, Sacramento Poetry Center hosts David Holper and Ken Letko, plus open mic. Wednesday in Placerville, 5-7pm, Poetry Off-the-Shelves poetry read-around meets in the El Dorado County Library main branch, 345 Fair Lane, Placerville.

Thursday will be busy, starting at noon with Third Thursdays in the Sacramento Room at the Central Library on I St., Sacramento. That’s a read-around; bring poems by someone other than yourself. Then at 6:30pm, Crocker Art Museum will host Capital Storytelling with Lisa Cantrell. Be sure to register at www.crockerart.org/event/2047/2019-08-15/. Also on Thursday, 8pm, Poetry Unplugged at Luna’s Cafe and Juice Bar in Sacramento features Francisco Gonzales plus open mic.

Friday will feature The Other Voice in Davis, with Sue Daly and Stephen Daly reading, plus open mic, at the Unitarian Universalist Church of Davis on Patwin Road, 7:30pm. Then on Sunday, also in Davis, Linda Scheller will read (plus open mic) at the Davis Arts Center Poetry Series on F St., 1-3pm. Both of these events are hosted by James Lee Jobe.

Also on Sunday, Poetry of the Sierra Foothills present Tim Kahl plus open mic, 2pm, at Caffé Santoro on Pleasant Valley Road in Diamond Springs, southeast of Placerville. Scroll down to the blue column (under the green column at the right) for info about these and other upcoming poetry events in our area—and note that more may be added at the last minute.

Interested in workshops? Check the green box at the right for a listing of area ones which will be held this week and/or later.

—Medusa, celebrating poetry!

 —Anonymous Wag

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