WTF?!!

Medusa Statue, Warehouse Cafe, Port Costa, CA

—Poems by William S. Gainer, Grass Valley, CA

—Photos by Michelle Kunert, Sacramento

THE GREY HAT
   
Picked up the new winter hat
today.
I think it’s black.
It was supposed to be
gray
Kae St. Marie says it’s gray
just a very dark gray.
Isn't that what black is—
a very dark gray?

I like the fit,
but black isn’t my color.
Now I’m thinking
people are
fucking with me!
I got it on the table.
Peek at it
every once in a while.
Still think it's black.

The lady at the hat store
said it was gray.
I'm having second thoughts
about this whole deal.
Who can you trust?
Even the light seems to lie.
I just peeked again.
That fucking hat’s
black.

_____________________

AN AFTERNOON NAP

The flight didn’t really last that long
but there was that moment
that one moment when it felt like the sky
had no bottom.
Looking down
there was nothing to see
no blue, gray, mist of pink
no birds, dust, leaves blowing
just me, for a moment free
from whatever it is
chains us to ourselves.

 Ceremonial Veil, Ladies of Happenstance,

Warehouse Cafe

THE REASON I DON’T HAVE A UNICYCLE

If I did
I'd want 
to ride it.
Could be
dangerous.
Lean back
close your eyes
let your imagination
get away with you.
See what I mean?
That’s why
I don’t have
a unicycle.

_____________________

HANGING OUT—MEETING PEOPLE

In the rest room
of an East Bay coffee shop
someone knocked.
I said, “Come on in.”
She did!
Surprised me too.
Nobody’s ever
come in
before.
She got rude
quick.
Started interrogating me,
“What are you doing—
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”
I told her,
“Just hanging out
meeting people.”
I could tell right away
we weren’t going
to share a table.

 Moon Veil, Ladies of Happenstance

THE “WPA” GARDEN WORK

Left the window open last night
the crickets were talking
hadn’t heard them in a while.
They acted like they knew me.
I said, “Hey-man,” asked how long
they’d be working.
One of them answered,
“We’re pulling a Graveyard
tonight man.”
I thought about closing the window
but didn’t want to be rude.
One of them asked, “Why?”
I said, “Nothing man, nothing.”
It was quiet for a minute
then everybody went back to work.
I slept on the couch,
they were gone this morning.
Tonight, it was just the cleanup crew.

___________________

CONFESSIONS OF A STRAWBERRY THIEF

What—WHAT!
You ate a dirty strawberry?
Those filthy little red devils—
I pray you survive,
if not—
I'll always love you
and in your name—
take my revenge.

 Glove, Ladies of Happenstance

THE LATE HOURS 

                        For D.R.

Read your poems this morning,
once again, they brought the magic—
left me smiling.
I imagine
in the late hours
your rooms fill
with mysterious visitors,
odd creatures
and wondrous adventure.
I am always thankful
they enjoy your company—
leave you
with a bit something
to share.

_____________________

A NIGHT WISH

A few photos 
remain
other than that
she’s mostly gone.
Time shuffles
memory.

You sit
wait
wish
maybe tonight
she’ll return

if only in a dream
maybe not
but maybe?

 Hat, Ladies of Happenstance

MISSING YOU—ALWAYS

my day? My Day? MY DAY?
I spray-painted a night lamp
black.
Forgot the package
I was supposed to mail,
but went to the Post Office
anyway—
tried to use my car fob
to open my box,
the girl next to me
backed away
slowly
and my weight loss program
is driving me nuts.
I'm down 15 pounds
and mourning the loss.
I've noticed people
are starting to smell more—
a side effect of the drought—
which is a side effect
of the global warming
which has something to do
with oil production,
which has something to do
with fracking,
which has something to do
with earthquakes
in Oklahoma
and I'm worried
the supply of personal wipes
is going to run out.
The truth is—I’m good.
Taking a handful
of old man dope daily.
It helps me
settle
relax.
makes me thankful
you didn't mention
your room-mate
by name,
you know I’m still struggling
with that
problem behavior issue.
Don’t worry
they’re talking about
upping the meds.
So, yeah—
I’m good kid.
Missing you as always.
Thanks for asking.

_____________________

Our thanks to Bill Gainer for today's lively poems, and to Michelle Kunert for her phine photos. After its one-issue hiatus, Rattlesnake Press's quarterly journal, WTF, will be returning next week in a release party at Luna's Cafe, hosted by editor frank andrick (assisted by Rachel Leibrock). Join them on Thursday, November 19, at 8pm. Bill Gainer will be one of the many fine poets whose work will appear in this issue. Be there!

As for Michelle's Ladies of Happenstance, she says it was a Lodge-type organization that was formed for women because they couldn't get into men's groups of that type. I dunno; I couldn't find it on Google; maybe you'll have better luck tracking it down. In any case, today's photos were all taken in Port Costa's venerable Warehouse Cafe. I thought Bill Gainer might like them, since he writes a lot about "ladies of happenstance"...

May you have a thoughtful Veteran's Day.

_____________________

Today’s LittleNip:

BECAUSE OF THE WATER CRISIS—

I won’t be in today.
In an attempt
to conserve water
we’ve been
drinking beer.
Lots of it.
Probably not best
to drive just now.
Maybe you can call
the new guy in
he doesn’t seem
to give a shit
about
the environment.

___________________

—Medusa

Giant Polar Bear Statue, Warehouse Cafe, 

Port Costa, CA

—Photo by Michelle Kunert