THE ATTACK OF THE LONG, BORING POEM
—Ted Finn, Fair Oaks
there is a clever and insidious criminal presently at large,
freely roaming the streets of San Francisco,
rampantly extorting money from helpless passersby
by reading long, boring poems.
carefully choosing his victims,
people who look like they will give anything
just to be left alone,
he rushes up to them,
soiled pages in hand.
—let me read you my poem,
he says.
he then begins his assault.
a victim, a friend, a local lawyer had been to poetry readings;
he had heard bad poetry before,
but nothing quite so relentlessly awful
that it could only have been created
to leave whoever heard it begging for mercy,
paying whatever was demanded.
—how much will it cost me to get you to stop?
he asks the man.
—five bucks, the man tells him.
my friend gives the man a five
and watches him rush off to find another victim.
who needs a gun to rob when you have a long, boring poem to read?
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Thanks, Ted! Ted Finn has read his poetry just about everywhere: colleges, high schools, libraries, benefits, special events, poetry venues, on-air at radio stations throughout California, and he has been featured in video productions, television appearances and film. As far as the printed word, Ted is most proud that he has been published in The Rolling Stone (1985), but he also sincerely appreciates the other many literary journal and chapbook publishers who have published his work. Ted's latest publication, Damn the Eternal War, will be released by Rattlesnake Press in SnakeRings SpiralChap form this coming Wednesday, April 9, at The Book Collector, 1414 16th St., Sacramento. Join us for the free buffet at 7 PM or so, followed by readings by Katy Brown, Ann Menebroker, and Ted Finn.
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NorCal poetry readings this weekend:
•••Tonight (Friday, 4/4), 7:30 PM: The Other Voice, a poetry reading series sponsored by the U.U. Church of Davis, presents three poets: Lisa Dominguez Abraham, Denise Lichtig, and Catherine French. Lisa Abraham's work has appeared in a number of journals, most recently in The Suisan Valley Review and Hardpan. Her chapbook, Low Notes, was released last fall by Red Wing Press. Denise Lichtig has been published in Hayden's Ferry Review, Antioch Review, The Suisun Review, and Dry Heat. She has received a Pushcart nomination and was a semi-finalist in the Discovery/The Nation contest. Here in Davis she has a private practice in Chinese Medicine and teaches Tai Qi. Catherine French lives in Sacramento and is the author of Sideshow from the University of Nevada Press. Her poems have appeared in The Nation, Gettysburg Review, Zyzzyva, and other journals. She is currently at work on her second collection of poems. We meet in the library of the church located at 27074 Patwin Rd. in Davis. Refreshments and Open Mike follow, so bring along a poem or two to share.
•••Saturday (4/5), 7 PM: The Sugar Shack/The Shuga Shaque/The Suga Shak: A Night of Poetry, Music and Art at its Best at Delta of Venus Café, 122 B St., Davis. Host Mario Ellis Hill writes: As some of you may know, some friends and myself had the opportunity in the early ‘90's to start an artists' performance workshop in Davis that went by the name of the SUGAR SHACK. At these events, running from 1993-1998, we invited all of the artists we personally knew—poets, actors, writers, dancers, artists, musicians, singers, etc.—to perform, as well as bring some grub for the potlucks. It was a chance for all of us hibernating-&- in-the-closet artists in the Davis community to get to know each other, as well as share our gifts with other like-minded folks. Well, after so many years, The Shack is Back! Take advantage of this opportunity to come out to see some fantastic music and poetic grooves! Saturday's featured poets include Traci Gourdine, FuhShang! & The Jalapeno Chocolates (Vincent Kobelt & Mario Ellis Hill), Terry Moore, Bill Carr, Jr., Miss Marianna, Susan & Joseph Finkleman, Samuel Iniguez, Sean King, Terryl Wheat & Rob Lozano. Featured musicians include Gentle Creatures (Sacramento), Pais De Trois (Sacramento), and Samilia (Davis). Info: lee@deltaofvenus.org or Mario at 916-752-7275.
•••Saturday (4/5), 7:30 PM: Cornered: Five Years of Sacramento News & Review's Poet's Corner. Join Poet's Corner Editor Kel Munger, special guest Joe Wenderoth, and some of the Corner's frequent contributors for a reading and celebration of its fifth anniversary. All at The Book Collector, 1008 24th St., Sac. And check out Kel’s new SN&R blog, too, at http://www.newsreview.com/sacramento/bibliolatry/Blogs.
•••Monday (4/7), 7:30 PM: Sacramento Poetry Center presents Gene Bloom and Nickole Brown, 1719 25th St., Sacramento. Open mic afterward. Nickole Brown is the author of Sister, published by Red Hen in September 2007. Her work has been featured in The Writer's Chronicle, Poets & Writers, 32 Poems, Post Road, Florida Review, The Cortland Review, Chautauqua Literary Journal, Diagram Magazine, Lumberyard, Another Chicago Magazine, Mammoth Books' Sudden Stories anthology, and the Starcherone Press anthology, PP / FF. She also co-edited the anthology, Air Fare: Stories, Poems, & Essays on Flight, published in 2004. She lives in Louisville, Kentucky; google her up at http://www.nickolebrown.com/sister.html.
The phrase "living legend" is usually an empty phrase with little or no real meaning, but it applies with distinct legitimacy to local poet Gene Bloom, variously known as "Ram Dog" and "The Brooklyn Flash". Gene Bloom, the erstwhile publisher of the historic magazine, Entrails, has been wowing the audiences at Luna's Cafe for at least a decade now and shows no sign of slowing down or toning down his salaciously humorous verses. With a voice that transports the listener to the lower east side of Manhattan, he is capable of moving, thoughtful work, political satire, and erotica.
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HOW IT GOT THAT WAY
—Tom Goff, Carmichael
Rye bread
like lead?
Grain shed.
Brain-dead
farmers left door wide—mildewed or stale
foodstuffs. Blue stuff? Mold, kissing bales.
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Thanks, Tom! Tom Goff plucked up his courage and tackled the tricky tyburn (see Tuesday's post for how the tyburn form works).
And Taylor Graham's muse is clearly feeling the effects of spring, too! TG sent us responses to two recent LittleNips: the silly haiku on April 2, and yesterday's rice website and colonial flag. She says, I wasn't sure if the LittleNip was just the rice website, or also Ben Franklin's snake. So I played the vocabulary game (almost as addictive as "John Adams" [the HBO series]...) and then used some of the words for my colonial snake:
A cloud, two robins,
and a shooting-star — April’s
minimal haiku.
—Taylor Graham
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JOIN, OR DIE
—Taylor Graham, Somerset
No grudge involved, no odium
but simply the wish to live without
a king’s ratbaggery.
The undulating creature, vermiculate—
no, serpentine, venomous
when held down with the heel,
the pike, the tax—rouses
itself. The time for rogatories
is past. The sundered
segments twitch, reach out
for rapprochement, concerted
motion of a severed spine.
It’s almost sundown.
Watch for a sign.
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Thanks, TG. See yesterday's LittleNip for the "rice" website she's talking about. And it's not too late to send in a poem using the word, "agrexophrenia", to receive a free copy of Ann Privateer's new rattlechap, Attracted to Light. Get it to me by midnight tonight.
LittleNip for Today:
Poetry is the synthesis of hyacinths and biscuits.
—Carl Sandburg
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IF THIS IS THE LAST DANCE
the music dying,
will you dance this dance with me?
neruda says it’s the little deaths that kill us:
death of dream,
death of laughter,
death of hope of love.
we get drunk on the poison slowly killing us.
already too deep into no returning alive,
so easy now our prayers, so easy now surrender.
so easy now opening to whatever grace welcoming brings.
too long no one to dance with opens us to dance.
our sweat falls on fertile ground
as we fast-dance in the sun,
nurturing seed,
summer thick and swollen.
we are making love in an impossible garden.
something is growing between us.
every day I feel its roots sinking deeper.
—Ted Finn
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—Medusa
Here's Medusa's new weekly menu of features. Contributors are welcome to submit to any and all of these!
Monday: Weekly NorCal poetry calendar
Tuesday: Seed of the Week: Tuesday is Medusa's day to post poetry triggers such as quotes, forms, photos, memories, jokes—whatever might tickle somebody's muse. Pick up the gauntlet and send in your poetic results; and don't be shy about sending in your own triggers, too! All poems will be posted and a few of them will go into Medusa's Corner of each Rattlesnake Review. Send your work to me at kathykieth@hotmail.com or P.O. Box 762, Pollock Pines, CA 95726. No deadline for SOW; respond today, tomorrow, or whenever the muse arrives. (Print 'em out, maybe, save 'em for a dry spell?) When you send us work, though, just let us know which "seed" it was that inspired you.
Wednesday: HandyStuff Quickies: Resources for the poet, including whatever helps ease the pain of writing and/or publishing. Favorite journals to read and/or submit to; books, etc., about writing; organizational tools—you know—HandyStuff! Tell us about your favorites.
Thursday: B.L.'s Drive-Bys: Micro-reviews by our irreverent Reviewer-in-Residence, B.L. Kennedy
Friday: NorCal poetry calendar for the weekend
Daily (except Sunday): LittleNips: SnakeFood for the Poetic Soul: Daily food for poetic thought, including short paragraphs, quotes, wonky words, silliness, and other inspiration. Yet another way to feed our ever-hungry poetic souls.
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SnakeWatch: News from Rattlesnake Press
The latest Rattlesnake Review (#17) is now available for free at The Book Collector, 1008 24th St., Sacramento. If you'd like me to mail you one, send two bux to P.O. Box 762, Pollock Pines, CA 95726. Next deadline is May 15 for #18, due out in mid-June.
Coming April 9: We will mark the Snake’s fourth birthday by throwing his Fourth Annual Birthday Bash at The Book Collector on Wednesday, April 9, including a buffet at 7 PM, followed by a reading. That night, there will be three history-making releases: Ann Menebroker’s new chapbook (Small Crimes); Ted Finn re-emerges with a new SnakeRings SpiralChap of his poetry and art (Damn the Eternal War); and Katy Brown inaugurates her blank (well, not really) journal series of photos and prompts for our HandyStuff department with her MUSINGS (For Capturing Creative Thought). Please join us to celebrate four years of [your] poetry with fangs!
Medusa encourages poets of all ilk and ages to send their POETRY, PHOTOS and ART, as well as announcements of Northern California poetry events, to kathykieth@hotmail.com (or snail ‘em to P.O. Box 762, Pollock Pines, CA 95726) for posting on this daily Snake blog. Rights remain with the poets. Previously-published poems are okay for Medusa’s Kitchen, as long as you own the rights. (Please cite publication.) Medusa cannot vouch for the moral fiber of other publications, contests, etc. that she lists, however, so submit to them at your own risk. For more info about the Snake Empire, including guidelines for submitting to or obtaining our publications, click on the link to the right of this column: Rattlesnake Press (rattlesnakepress.com). And be sure to sign up for Snakebytes, our monthly e-newsletter that will keep you up-to-date on all our ophidian chicanery.